The process of grieving is difficult and emotional. The passing of a loved one creates an enormous void in one’s life, and over time, that becomes a little easier to manage.
In the best-case scenario, the stark and painful reality of absence becomes easier to adapt to, and the sharp void begins to fill.
However, in some cases, that absence becomes overwhelming, and years of suffering an emotional constriction that becomes the person’s reality.
When this happens, the grief becomes more complex, and getting ‘stuck’ like this is called complicated grief; it may require the help of a professional.
What Really Triggers Complicated Grief?
During the grief process, everyone has a different experience.
Some people cry, some get angry or numb; some just go to work and keep themselves busy, while others become bedridden.
Activites, thoughts, or nothing at all may be the center of loss and absence.
Some people undergo emotional transformations over time and feel progressively better, while others may get stuck in a state of absence, a void, and an eternal ache.
Everything mentioned here is a part of the grief process.
But with complicated grief, the change and transformation of emotions does not occur over time.
Raw grief continues to exist after time has passed, and the pain remains the same week after week, month after month.
Developing complicated grief is a phenomenon that occurs when intertwined feelings of loss and grief manifest into something more challenging.
It is estimated that 10% of bereaved individuals may develop prolonged grief disorder.
The Emotional Signs
Your emotional state can be a good indicator of where you are in the grieving process. How are you feeling every day?
Have you experienced any of this:
- Longing, or missing the person in an estimated way or with an emotional yearning that has not improved or diminished with time.
- Does it still seem to you that to be a reality that the person is dead, and yet you can’t quite believe it in deep conviction?
- Do you feel emotionally disconnected?
- Do you feel anger at a caregiver, the person who has died, and at yourself?
- Do you feel so out of touch that you think you are lost and don’t know yourself because of the feeling of disorientation?
These feelings may be indicative of a grieving process becoming complicated.
How It May Show Up
Complicated grief affects the way you live life. Examples include:
- Avoiding certain people or places.
- Doing activities only associated with the deceased.
- Isolating yourself from family and friends because no one seems to understand what you’re really dealing with.
- Neglecting basic responsibilities such as eating, sleeping and going to work.
You may also experience exhaustion, unexplained pain, headaches and trouble sleeping.
Could It Be Grief or Depression
You may question whether or not you experience complicated grief or depression. Although both may somewhat resemble one another, they are different.
Complicated grief is the pain associated with the loss and the deceased. While depression may or may not include a loss, the sadness spans across all life domains.
You may find yourself in a situation that involves both, which warrants professional help for both.
When Should You Be Concerned
Anyone suggesting you should be past the loss because ‘x’ amount of months have gone by doesn’t understand loss and grieving.
It’s been around six months to a year since your loss yet your grief feels just as intense as when the loss first occurred. It might help to talk to someone about it.
This is not to say that you have done something wrong with your process of grief; rather, you may be stuck in grieving and need professional assistance to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
Get Support
Complicated grief has a high success rate for treatment. There is a type of therapy created specifically for this, and it is called complicated grief therapy.
When you come to Compassionate Healthcare & Wellness Center, you will have the opportunity to work with therapists who help you process the loss and the feelings it has created that are keeping you stuck, to begin to build a life that honors your loss.
At Compassionate Healthcare & Wellness Center, we know grief is personal.
Our team provides a space for you to work through it and move at the pace that feels right to you.
Call us at 804-234-3568 or email Info@chwellnesscenter.com.
FAQs
How long is too long to grieve?
There is no time constraint on grief, but if you are still feeling a lot of pain after the first 6-12 months which is impacting your ability to function, then you should see a professional.
Does getting help mean I didn’t love them enough?
No. Getting the help you need is an important step in processing your grief. Love is like a flame. Healing simply channels that love to burn in a new, healthier way.
Can complicated grief ever get better?
The right support is necessary for healing. It is a long journey but healing is attainable.